i must thank - I like being sad...

I like being sad...

So I'm sad a lot. Not always but a lot, and I've always been ashamed. I pretend I'm happy. I work on it, go to therapy, but life's hard and sometimes it's a shitbox of nonsense and woes, and then I met this guy. We've just become friends. He's an easy-going type, not someone who passes judgment much. He tells me he needs a good deep melancholy here and there. It makes him feel human. He asks me if I might prefer being sad. I said no straightaway, but then I had to admit I do, sometimes. At the very least it means my heart's open. I'm alive and feeling even if it's not the circus and birthday and balloons kind of stuff. I've been trying to talk myself out of it for years, but what I didn't know is that you can be happy being sad.

Submitted by: Rickie

pennyroyaltea

I Understand, I find comfort in being sad.
that explains it all.

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I don't think its about being happy with being sad, I think it has to do with being in a familiar state. Like you, i'm sad... all the fucking time. I consistently find myself defeating my own hopes and aspirations, simply because im slightly afraid of the prospect of being happy. I've been unhappy for so long, its become a familiar place for me. And if I become happy, am I going to be able to face the reality that I wasted so many years of my life being wrong about myself? That all the pain and suffering, really is for nothing?

Your always comfortable being in places that are familiar... So your not happy when your sad, your sad but comfortable.

Its not fair, that you can be comfortable in such a sad and desolate state. Instead of traveling through the valley of the shadow to reach happiness, you must stay within the darkness, simply to stay sane. Thats how I feel sometimes...

MiseryMonger

Soooo, that's why I simply refuse 2 let good things make me happy or find the bad in everything..

Mary Lou H.

Thanks, Rickie. This was helpful. You gotta be you and me, too. I mope around a lot. I don't know whether it makes me happy but it's me being me.

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